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Christian Marriage Assessment


  • First you assess how well your marriage matches God's    expectations. (2 Corinthians 13:5; 2 Peter 3:18)
  •        10 Keys to a Healthy Marriage IN Christ.

           Marriage Assessment for Wives (Download PDF)

           Marriage Assessment for Husbands. (Download PDF)

  • Next you develop a plan to make any adjustments necessary to be truly IN Christ.

  • Then you re-assess to see how you're doing, then revise the plan, re-assess, and so on.
    Once you have an idea of the areas you would like to work on, develop a plan of action for your growth in the faith.

    Make sure you are solid in your personal relationship with Jesus first.

    Try this Christian Self-Assessment.

    Marriage IN Christ: 10 Keys to a Healthy Marriage

    • IN-tentional daily commitment to Christ and to stay married.
    • First, and most critical, commit your marriage to Jesus. Without His divine love and healing power, it is incredibly difficult to weather tough times. Second, commit to stay together no matter what. Without this, it is easy to give yourselves an out when the going gets rough. Reconfirm this commitment to each other and in daily prayers.
    • IN-stall structure that supports healthy relating.
    • We put planning and infrastructure into our work and leave our marriage/family up to the waves of daily life. Success depends on a family structure with defined roles, healthy communication patterns and lifestyle structure (schedule, budget, emergency plans). Without these, we fall into human behavior that is often self-preserving and dysfunctional for relationships.
    • IN-tegrate all aspects of your marriage into one Christian view.
    • Define your marriage view. You have two choices, Christ's view or the world's. Christ's view of marriage is defined in scripture (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:3-12; Mark 10:2-12; Eph 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7), but not popular in the world. It is difficult to be fully devoted to Christian marriage as it involves giving up self, tireless forgiveness and no escape. And the world view involves independence, taking care of "me" and an easy way out. We try to live a little in both views which gives Satan (the ruler of this world) a foot in the door. Once he gets a toehold, his mission is to destroy the marriage. No matter how hard, line your marriage up with God's description.
    • IN-corporate ways to show your love for each other every day.
    • Love is action and action speaks louder than words. Just saying the words does not convey the message. Take time to learn what your spouse values as loving acts then do them regardless of what you think of them. Ask your spouse what they would like from you.
    • IN-still the value that a healthy marriage determines the health of the family.
    • The function (or dysfunction) of the family is directly related to the health of the marital relationship. All relationships stem from this one. It is easy for couples to get wrapped up in their own relationship issues and needs and lose sight of the fact that it is not about them. It is about being a team for Christ to spread the Word, starting with their family. Children's destructive behavior is a communication to the outside that their is a problem with the family. When intervening with a hurting family, no matter who is acting out, family therapists will begin with assessing and healing the marriage.
    • IN-spect yourselves and your relationship every day in some way.
    • Since we are human and fall short of the glory of God, we have to take stock in how we are doing as a fully devoted follower of Christ and in our marriage. Proactive assessment is key to preventing the build up of resentment and hard feelings. 2 Cor 13:5; 2 Peter 3:18)
    • IN-volve yourselves in a church family.
    • Our church family is our extended family, ((Eph 2:19-21)critical in readying us for battle with Satan, in providing refuge from the world and rejuvenating us for more battle. In this family, we receive encouragement, instruction and chastisement when needed. Involvement in this family is a major support for our marriage.
    • IN-fluence your children and younger couples with mentoring and modeling.
    • Your primary mission field is in your home. Here you can make a difference for Christ every day. Showing your children a team for Christ; modeling loving each other, offering a loving home focused on serving others. Take time to invest in younger couples who need help building their team. (Titus 2:1-7)
    • IN-spire others with stories about how Christ is alive in your marriage.
    • The most powerful witness for Christ is your testimony. (John 4:39;1 Peter 3:15,16:) Give glory to God for your marriage and the journey He has you on.
    • IN-filtrate the world with the message that God hates divorce and heals marriages.
    • It is very difficult for couples to ignore the world's message that divorce is an acceptable way to escape marriage and preserve self. Couples in turmoil are bombarded with that message. Whenever possible, tell them Christ's message about marriage that He hates divorce and if asked, He will take the lead and heal any marriage.

    A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
                Genesis 2:24 NKJV



    18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
                                 Genesis 2:18 NKJV

    22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church? 30 for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband..
               Ephesians 5:22-33 NKJV

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